Preparedness #19 -5/2/09
Just after printing last week’s insert, I read a talk by Gary and Joy Lundberg that gave some substance to the Faith / obedience section of last weeks insert. It referred to parts of the last conference and ended with a quote from President Monson. I would like to share some of their ideas with you.
“We can't ignore what is happening to the economy and the values we cherish, but we can control how we talk about it with our children and how much they are exposed to it, at least in our homes. Parents are the most powerful influence in helping a child deal with hard, and sometimes frightening, times. If you go around with long faces, continually talking in negative terms about the failing stock market, the possibility, or the reality, of losing your job or home, the lack of trust you have in government leaders, etc, that's like kicking the foundation out from under your child's security base. They don't have the maturity to deal with it, even teens don't. That doesn't mean they can't know about it, they just need it to be addressed with a positive we-can-make-it-through-this attitude, without it being continually in their faces.
This last General Conference showed us clearly how to do that. Did you notice how upbeat and full of hope the talks were, even as they addressed serious issues? The songs were happy and inspiring, one being “You Can Make the Pathway Bright”(hymn #228), encouraging us to have “sunshine in your heart today.” Not a bad song to go around the house singing these days.
So what can parents do?
We have a few suggestions that may be helpful as you navigate your families through these stressful times. First of all, husbands and wives need to have a serious family council with each other, without the kids in earshot. Talk about the issues and make a plan. It's important for you both to be on the same page, so kids won't be getting split messages.
1. Have daily family prayer In an article titled “The Blessings of Family Prayer” Ensign Feb. 1991, p.2, President Gordon B. Hinckley said: “I submit that a return to the old pattern of prayer, family prayer in the homes of the people, is one of the basic medications that would check the dread disease that is eroding the character of our society. . . . I give you my testimony that if you sincerely apply family prayer, you will not go away unrewarded. The changes may not be readily apparent. They may be extremely subtle. But they will be real, for God “is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” (Heb. 11:6.)
2. Eat dinner together. Dr. William J. Doherty, a family therapist, educator and researcher recently spoke at a BYU symposium. He said, “Family time and meals together are two factors that can help rescue parents and children from the ‘toxic combination' of cultures geared toward individuality, competition, super-sized consumerism and ‘kids-are-fragile' therapeutic thinking.” He also cited national and multinational studies that show “family meal time is a strong predictor of academic and psychological adjustment in children in teens — better than time in school, sports or cultural arts, and helping to decrease future involvement in alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, depression and eating disorders.”3. Read scriptures together Elder Robert D. Hales said, “I remember my own mother and father reading the scriptures as we children sat on the floor and listened. Sometimes they would ask, ‘What does that scripture mean to you?' or ‘How does it make you feel?' Then they would listen to us as we responded in our own words.” (Robert D. Hales, “Strengthening Families: Our Sacred Duty,” Ensign , May 1999, 32)
4. Have Family Home Evening every week. President Ezra Taft Benson said, “[Family home evening is] a time for discussions of gospel principles, recreation, work projects, skits, songs around the piano, games, special refreshments, and family prayers. Like iron links in a chain, this practice will bind a family together, in love, pride, tradition, strength, and loyalty." (President Ezra Taft Benson, “Salvation; A Family Affair”, Ensign, July 1992, p. 4)
5. Keep your marriage strong. This may be the most significant thing you can do that will bring security to your children during these challenging times. If they see Mom and Dad drifting apart, arguing, even threatening divorce, they will be devastated, and all other troubles in the world will be compounded in their minds. In addition, now more than ever, it's time to pay attention to your spouse's needs. Notice the good in each other and give compliments often. Take some time out and have a weekly date night, without the kids. Even if the only thing you can afford is an ice cream cone, go out together and enjoy that time with each other. Hug each other, kiss each other, and just simply hold on to each other through the hard times. Things will get better, especially if you are working together in love and harmony as a couple. If the world should crumble and fall, you be the ones who stand together through it all. And keep smiling.
A final word from our Prophet: We'll close this article with the inspiring words of our beloved Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, given at 2009 April General Conference a few weeks ago.
“I'd like us to turn our thoughts and our attitudes away from the troubles around us and to focus instead on our blessings as members of the Church. The Apostle Paul declared, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. None of us makes it through this life without problems and challenges—and sometimes tragedies and misfortunes. After all, in large part we are here to learn and grow from such events in our lives. We know that there are times when we will suffer, when we will grieve, and when we will be saddened. However, we are told: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”
Then President Monson ended his remarks with this promise: “The future will be as bright as your faith.”
The entire Lundberg article can be studied at: http://www.ldsmag.com/familyconnections/090417comfort.html
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